THERE IS A BAT IN MY HOUSE!  WHAT DO I DO?

First off, don't panic.  The bat isn't going to attack you or fly into your hair.  Next, try opening all windows and doors.  Bats fly using echo location and may realize that there is an opening and fly out on it's own.  If that isn't working, grab a box, plastic container, or bowl.  Wait for the bat to land and trap it with the container.  Slide a piece of paper between the container and the wall/window. Once contained, release the bat outside. Some people also have luck placing a blanket over the brush end of a broom and allowing the bat to hang on it while you bring it outside. 

THE BAT TOUCHED ME, WILL I GET RABIES?

While bats can carry rabies, you will not contract rabies just by touching it.  The rabies virus is most commonly transmitted through saliva via a bite from an infected animal.  If the bat did not bite (or lick) you, you will not become infected with rabies.